Are we, as Wiccans, obligated to cast spells for anyone who asks because we are “into peace and helping others”?
I thought not, but perhaps I was wrong, so I posed the question to fellow Wiccans on the forum. And for a bonus tidbit to discuss, I asked my fellow Wiccans what their definition of “help” was. (Not that I was surprised, but they agreed that I did what I could to help and was under no obligation to cast spells for X, or anyone for that matter. Most responders also stated that they will not cast spells for strangers, especially over the internet.)
Though at this point I suppose I should have let it go, I responded to X again, with an attempt to clear up the confusion. I noted that she did not provide any info as to what type of spells she was looking for, so all I was able to offer her was some basic information on educational resources. I will not blindly agree to cast spells for anyone. At this point I also asked her if she had ever heard the saying “Give a man a fish, and he’ll eat for a day; Teach a man to fish, and he’ll eat for the rest of his life.” I stated again that if she had more specific questions, I would try to answer.
But I also put my foot down on her attempt to pack my bags and take me on a guilt trip.
Let’s be realistic – most doctors aren’t simply providing medical help to strangers out of the goodness of their hearts – they are paid to do a job. And of course people have helped me through rough times in my life – friends and family mostly. I’ve never solicited any major help from a random stranger, nor would I expect it.
X’s email response:
“I would NEVER ask for a spell to harm someone. I guess You’re NOT really helpful. It’s NOT that you’re doing what someone just says for you to do. You would be helping someone in a great matter. Giving me details ISN’T going to help if it is hard for me to cast these spells. That’s why I came to you for help. But you denied me. Well, there’s NO more need for communication. I am NOT demanding anything, I’m just pissed on how you’re ranting about other things that does NOT go with what I asked for. There are MANY people who help with issue. Since, you’re NOT the one. GoodBye.”
I failed to see where I accused X of the intention to harm. I simply stated that she was not providing me with any information on what type of spells she wanted cast and I would not agree to casting spells without specific information.
Geez, how in the heck could I help further if I didn’t know what the heck I was supposed to be helping with? But hey, fine with me – I was done trying here.
Though I received one more email communication from X in response to my posted question to the other forum Wiccans:
“You’re question asked was ridiculous. I was NOT being selfish. You were. I do NOT care what they have had to say I was just mad at the fact that you acted as if me being a stranger was wrong.”
Um, okay, I did not accuse X of being selfish.
Come to find out through more posts on the forum in response to this situation, I wasn’t the only one X had solicited.
“I got the same email, and just shrugged and deleted it.
I don’t owe any help to spell-beggars who are too lazy to do their own damned research and work. And it annoys me when people presume that I HAVE to aid them just because I’m a Wiccan.”
“I got that too. I replied politely that I don’t cast spells for strangers and especially via the Net for a number of reasons. I got a reply with a lot of bitching about the strangers part.”
According to my Merriam Webster, in the context that we used the term *stranger*, “a person with whom one is unacquainted” is a simple fact and was certainly not meant to be the insult X took it to be. *Sigh
This response was made by another member and I agree:
“Eh, you are not obligated to do anything for random internet people.
It sounds to me as if the person assumed that Wiccans and spells are like Christians and prayer; by that I mean online you’ll notice a lot of Christians will post that they will pray for someone who is a total stranger. Perhaps they don’t realize what actually goes into a magic ritual or something?
You DID help them though, you gave them information and resources by which they could learn. If they didn’t want to take what you offered, then that is their loss.”
And this suspicion of X equating Wiccans and spells to Christians and prayer was rather confirmed as X went on with ranting posts about how rude and mean Wiccans were, how Christians were so much nicer and would offer help to anyone regardless if they were a stranger, how we made her cry by calling her a stranger, that she now sees that Wiccans are “devil worshipers” and Wicca is not the right path, that she should turn to Christianity, yadda, yadda, yadda.
Oh, and in this latest rash of X’s rantings, she stated she is 16 years old. I had suspected as much from the beginning, and the continued communications and postings were certainly proving a level of immaturity and lack of rational adult understanding.
Uh huh, and the age of 16 explains a lot of the “I have no desire to put the time and work in to learning how to do things for myself” mentality, along with the throwing a temper tantrum at not getting her own way. It also leaves me wondering how X’s Mom would feel about her soliciting such help from strangers on the internet – perhaps X’s Mom should better explain internet “stranger danger” to her.
She also finally spilled it on what spells she was looking to have cast for her, “protection from negative energies, to boost good luck, and to cure my mother of her illness.”
At this point, my head hurt too much to even break these down and respond, and I had had enough of this brat anyway what with the temper tantrums she threw in her posts (which have since been removed from the board so I couldn’t quote them all verbatim.) Apparently X is also confused about the fact that many Wiccans and witches are practicing healers and believes this means we can magically cure illnesses. Please, if that were the case, I’m quite sure many of us would be curing cancer and other devastating diseases as much as we could.
Another member was kind enough to jump in on this one, and I agree with his response.
“There could be any number of reasons your spells don’t work, it could also be that what you are trying to do with magic simply isn’t possible [In the case of illness, medical treatment is more effective than magic spells.] Magic ritual is mostly about focusing your own Will, changing reality to conform to your Will. Other people can’t do it for you as they don’t have power over your Will.
What you really need is a frame of mind, think of the last time you really wanted something. To set a record for yourself, to change, to get something you thought was perhaps out of your reach. Remember the frame of mind you were in. The determination, the total concentration on that one goal, every fiber, every cell moving forwards to grasp it. That would be what you need for your magic rituals and perhaps what you are missing. “
But alas, this also wasn’t good enough in the way of “help” for X.
And at last, we reach the end of this saga (well, kinda – at least as far as I’m concerned anyway.) Click here for Part III.